Solstice
by Lady Arreya
Summary: Takes place during the episode "Equinox, part I." Jealousy rears its ugly head when B'Elanna's ex-boyfriend Max Burke shows up. P/T.
1. The Shortest Day

Title: Solstice  
Rating: T  
Summary: Takes place during the episode "Equinox, part I." Jealousy rears its ugly head when B'Elanna's ex-boyfriend Max Burke shows up. P/T.

A/N: Originally written Nov. 2000. This is one of the cheesier stories I've written (complete with cheesy chapter titles), but it's still entertaining. I must have been nostalgic about my college days when I wrote this.

* * *

Chapter 1: The Shortest Day

"B'Elanna! Max is here."

"I'll be right there," she called out, putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

Moments later, Mellie came into the room. "He's getting impatient," she informed her roommate with a smile.

B'Elanna rolled her eyes. _What else is new?_

"BLT!" a booming, masculine voice called out from just outside the door.

She smiled. BLT. He was the only one who called her that. It wasn't exactly the most romantic nickname, but she didn't mind all that much. She grumbled about it good-naturedly, but it didn't really bother her. She kind of liked it, actually. It wasn't the actual  
nickname itself that mattered, but the affection behind it. The significance of having a nickname. It made her feel like she belonged. Special. That he cared about her. That they were that comfortable and familiar with each other. That was all it meant.

At any rate, it was certainly better than any of the standard endearments: "honey, dear, darling, sweetheart..." She certainly didn't like any of those. But "BLT" was okay. Especially since Max was the only one who called her that. He was entitled. He  
was her boyfriend, after all.

They had met on a camping trip in Yosemite a few months ago. Max was a first-year cadet at the Academy, like her, and they had been introduced to each other by a mutual friend. Tall, dark and handsome, he had captivated her immediately. He was well-  
built, strong, charming, and so attentive...

And she had welcomed, even encouraged his attentions.

She wasn't entirely sure what had possessed her to act so impulsively. After all, guys flirted with her all the time (the cadets were far more open-minded than the guys on her colony homeworld), but she rarely responded. What made this time different? Perhaps it had something to do with the romantic setting. The great outdoors, the star-studded night sky, the tranquility of the forests... It had been extremely cold that night, and he had gallantly offered her his sweater, the blue one with the class insignia on the back. She had gratefully accepted, and they had spent the rest of the evening in each other's company, talking quietly by the campfire.

Perhaps she had merely been on the rebound. It hadn't been that long ago that she had broken up with her first real boyfriend. A great guy, but clearly not the one for her. Their breakup had been rather messy, and she had vowed that she wouldn't get involved with anyone else for a long time. At least, not until she had recovered and was absolutely sure that she actually wanted to be with someone else.

But Max had changed all that. He understood what she was going through, having just gotten out of a bad relationship himself. They had spent hours commiserating, and it had brought them closer together. She felt so at ease with him.

Maybe it was a combination of all those things. But whatever it was, it had definitely established a bond between them.

The following day, they had gone hiking together to the magnificent waterfalls of Yosemite. At lunchtime they had been discussing their favorite sandwiches. His favorite was bacon, lettuce and tomato. BLT. Of course he had jokingly pointed out how similar that was to her initials... and started calling her that as a joke. She had rolled her eyes, but she was secretly flattered.

Months later, he was still calling her BLT.

B'Elanna finally opened the door, just as Max was about to knock again.

"It's about time," he grumbled. "What took you so long??

She pretended to be offended. "What? You don't think I'm worth waiting for?"

He looked her over appreciatively. "Well... okay. You're definitely worth waiting for."

"That's better."

They grinned at each other.

"Let's go; we don't want to be late."

"I thought you liked being fashionably late," she teased.

"Not this time. This is a surprise party, remember?"

Of course. It was his best friend's birthday, and Max had been planning this surprise party for weeks. Definitely a special occasion.

"Have fun," Mellie called out after them as they headed off to the party, arm in arm.

* * *

"B'Elanna?"

She snapped back to the present. "Hmm?"

"I asked you to hand me the isolinear spanner," said Harry patiently. "Twice."

"Oh." She did as he asked.

"Everything okay?"

"I guess."

He looked at her, guessing what was bothering her. "You and Max – Academy sweethearts, huh?"

She glared at him. "I wouldn't exactly call it that. We weren't together for that long."

"Okay, okay... Sorry."

So many memories. She rarely thought about her Academy days, but seeing Max had brought it all back. Like she was re-living it all over again. Seemed like only yesterday...

Dinners together, long walks, trips to San Francisco, going to parties, Academy sporting events, studying together...

He was the last person she had expected to see out here in the middle of the Delta Quadrant.

Ten years. Such a long time ago. She had been so different back then. Younger, more optimistic, more insecure, trying to fit in but not quite succeeding as well as she would have liked. Trying to figure it all out. Confused, wondering what it all meant, wondering  
about her uncertain future... did she really want to be a Starfleet officer? At times she had her doubts whether she would even survive four years at Starfleet Academy.

She hadn't really known what she really wanted out of life, where she would eventually end up.

Max had been good company, but they were very different people. She certainly hadn't ever envisioned the two of them having a long-term relationship. They were too young for that, and too different.

It was completely different with Tom. She could easily imagine spending the rest of her life with Tom. They definitely had a future together.

The thought of that kind of commitment was a little frightening, but it was true. She could see the two of them still together years from now, even in ten years.

He was the love of her life.

She smiled a little, thinking about the scene in the Mess Hall, when Tom had discovered that Max was an ex-boyfriend of hers. His reaction to Max's old nickname for her, BLT, had been amusing, and she hadn't been able to resist teasing him about it. Tom was usually so unflappable, so confident. She secretly liked seeing him jealous. Just a little. It meant that he really cared about her. Not that she ever doubted that he cared about her. It was just a nice change, that was all. After all, it was usually the other way around. Tom was charming, good-looking, friendly, and people (beautiful women especially) tended to gravitate towards him. She couldn't help being a little envious of that. So it was reassuring to know that she wasn't the only one who ever felt insecure. He wasn't so arrogant that he didn't ever have doubts about himself.

B'Elanna loved him all the more for it. Tom might not be perfect, but he was certainly the perfect man for her.

And she loved him more than anything.

* * *

It hadn't been all good in her relationship with Max. Though they'd had a lot of fun together, there had also been quite a few bumps.

His most frequent complaint was that he didn't get to see her often enough. She was always busy with problem sets, programs, projects... and she was completely dedicated to her work. Such was the life of an engineer. She didn't always have as much time for him as he liked, and it was a sore point in their relationship.

She didn't like it either, but what could she do? She couldn't exactly cut down on her studying time and still expect to survive her grueling course load.

They saw each other as much as possible, but that was rarely enough to suit Max. He liked having her undivided attention.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen too often.

Sometimes she really resented the demands he made of her. He was so high-maintenance, and she hated feeling like she was had to choose between her studies and her boyfriend.

She could remember one incident in particular...

It was Sunday evening and the two of them were sitting on the floor of her dorm room. They were supposed to be studying, but it wasn't happening. Max was still in weekend mode and clearly not in the mood to study.

"Did you hear about Frank and Lacey? They broke up again."

Rifling through her lecture notes, she pretended not to hear him.

"She dumped him this time," Max continued, almost cheerfully. "It was brutal."

A non-committal "Mm-hmm..." was her only response.

"Don't you want to hear the gory details?"

"Not really."

He told her anyway.

B'Elanna tuned him out. After a few minutes, he realized that she really wasn't listening.

"Hey, you want to go down to the holodeck for a while?"

"Max. I'm trying to study," she reminded him pointedly.

He frowned. "You've been studying all weekend."

"Don't you have a Geophysics midterm tomorrow? And that Interstellar History paper that's due this week?"

"It'll get done," he said with a careless shrug. "And I already know I'm going to ace that midterm, so what's the point of studying?"

It was no use. She decided to just ignore him for now.

But he persisted. "If you don't want to go to the holodeck, how about going for a walk?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not? It's a beautiful evening. We shouldn't waste it cooped up inside."

She tried to concentrate on her problem set, but Max kept distracting her with his antics.

_I'm never going to study with him again,_ B'Elanna told herself for the millionth time. This happened every time. It was counterproductive to try and study with him around. _Why did I agree to let him come over in the first place?_

Sensing her irritation, he dropped the subject and scooted closer to her, draping his arm around her shoulders.

"Well... I guess staying in might not be such a bad idea," he whispered, nuzzling her neck.

She pushed him away in exasperation.

"Max... I have work to do."

"Come on, B'Elanna," he cajoled.

She didn't like being pressured. It made her so uncomfortable. Problem was, she was tempted to give in.

It was like a power struggle, these games they played.

Sensing her hesitation, he pulled her to him and kissed her soundly.

Her anger returned full force. She wasn't about to let him manipulate her again. Not this time.

"Let go of me, p'taQ!"

*

It would never do, she thought glumly to herself later as she sat in the waiting room of the Academy Infirmary. No matter how angry she was, she couldn't go around breaking people's noses. Especially not her boyfriend's...

* * *

All this she remembered... She could laugh about it now, but back then it had been no laughing matter.

It wasn't like that with Tom. With him, she never felt like he had an ulterior motive or wanted something from her for his own selfish purposes. She wasn't giving in to his demands to get something else. To keep his interest.

Rather, it was an expression of their love for one another. Communication at another level.

He knew her well enough to gauge her moods, and he also knew when to back off.

B'Elanna was used to making her own decisions and being in control of her own life. She'd never liked having to rely on anyone. Didn't want to need anyone.

But somehow, it was all right to need Tom.

Before, she never would have let herself be vulnerable. Nothing terrified her more.

She had been independent and self-sufficient all her life. It was safer that way. Too many times she had been hurt by caring too deeply about someone or something. Caring about someone meant that they had the power to hurt you. She had always thought that relationships tended to be rather imbalanced since someone always had the upper hand. And she intended to be the one in control.

But with Tom it wasn't like that. She didn't need to have that control. She could let go, and she didn't have to hold back anything. She loved him, trusted him and wanted to share everything openly with him.

It didn't frighten her to be out of control with him. Quite the contrary. She always felt safe in his arms.

It had taken a long time to get to that point. Breaking down defenses that had been honed and refined all these years hadn't been easy for either of them.

But now that they had, everything was so perfect between them.

_Tom..._

B'Elanna suddenly had the urge to see him, but she knew that wouldn't be possible. She had too much work to do.

As she thought about her Academy days, she wondered what it would have been like had she known Tom then.

Perhaps it had all turned out for the best. Even if they had known each other then, would it have worked out between them?

She had changed a lot in the past ten years, as had Tom...

* * *

After months of constant arguing and misunderstandings Max and B'Elanna finally had to conclude that it just wasn't working.

Their breakup was fairly amiable. As amiable as a breakup could be.

She enjoyed his company, but she just didn't have enough time to deal with a boyfriend. Certainly not one as high-maintenance as Max Burke. He demanded way too much of her  
time, resented that she prioritized her work over him, and he wasn't very understanding.

She understood where he was coming from, but there wasn't whole lot she could she do about it. She was an engineer, and engineering was the most difficult and time-consuming major there was at the Academy.

So they agreed not to see each other exclusively anymore. They were still friends, of course, but over time they saw less and less of each other. Max had always had a roving eye, even when they had been dating exclusively, so B'Elanna wasn't too surprised when he started seeing someone else soon after. She wasn't too heartbroken about it, either. Things hadn't been working out for a while, and she had her work to occupy her. There was always work to be done, and she didn't have time for a boyfriend at the moment. Her heavy and rigorous course load didn't permit her a lot of free time. She was taking quite a few advanced classes, and she was determined to do her best, even if that meant sacrificing other things.

* * *

"Engineering to Torres."

"Torres here."

It never ended. The life of an engineer was always busy. It always would be.

Good thing Tom was so understanding.

Though he occasionally complained about not getting to see her as often as he liked, he was usually very good-natured about it and willing to help her in any way possible. They worked well together.

She was grateful for the little moments... lunch together in the Mess Hall, walks along the beaches of Tahiti, working on the Delta Flyer, even watching episodes of Captain Proton...

After a long, hard day of work, it was nice to have someone to snuggle with on the couch. Blissful to fall asleep in the arms of the one you loved.

She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking back to a few nights ago...

That day, she and Harry had been held hostage in Sickbay by the sentient bomb that had taken over the Doctor. It had been a traumatic experience, to say the least.

But after it was over... Tom had been there to take care of her.

Her commbadge beeped again, interrupting her reverie.

"Bridge to Torres. Please report to Main Engineering."

"I'm on my way," she reported with a sigh. "Torres out."

There weren't enough hours in the day for her. Everything went by too quickly.

At least she would get to see Tom at dinner. She, Tom, Harry and Max were going to meet at the Mess Hall in a few short hours.

That brought a smile to her face.

(To be continued in Chapter 2…)


	2. The Longest Night

Chapter 2 "The Longest Night"

Tom sat down in his quarters, unable to sleep.

Dinner had been awkward, to say the least. It was obvious that B'Elanna and Burke had shared a lot of good times during their days at the Academy. They had spent most of dinner reminiscing about the good old days. Harry had thrown in quite a few reminisces of his own, but Tom had been uncharacteristically silent.

He didn't like it one bit. Couldn't stand to see B'Elanna so comfortable, so at ease, so familiar with another man. All throughout dinner, he couldn't help but think about all that those two had shared... and wonder if there was any spark left in this old flame.

Burke kept calling her "BLT," and every time, Tom had fought the urge to punch him. Pesky ex-boyfriend...

B'Elanna didn't seem to mind the nickname. This he couldn't figure out. He had never thought that B'Elanna would be one tolerate something like that.

She had never mentioned Burke before, so Tom had only his own observations to go on. She seemed to be very affectionate with him, which was rare. Seemed younger, happier, more carefree...

He didn't like it one bit.

His face flushed with embarrassment, remembering what had happened earlier. At the end of dinner, when Burke and B'Elanna were lingering at the dinner table, Tom had been anxious to get out of there. He had placed his hand on B'Elanna's arm, telling her, "Come on, sweetheart, we'd better get going."

Silence.

He wasn't sure what had possessed him to do that, but he'd felt a desperate, overwhelming need to assert his claim to her somehow. Of course it hadn't worked.

She had merely shot him a look like he was crazy, one that plainly said, "_Sweetheart_? When did you start calling me _sweetheart_?" Harry had tried really hard not to laugh, without much success. And Burke had barely hid a knowing smirk. Which only made Tom all the more annoyed and insecure, realizing that Burke saw right through him.

Worse yet, B'Elanna had told him, "You go on ahead. I'll see you later."

Clearly she had been enjoying herself and was reluctant to leave Burke's company.

It hurt.

What made him even more nervous was that he had noticed that Max Burke had a way of charming the ladies. Crewman Henley had been impressed by how knowledgeable he was about this region of space. Ensign Jenkins, Lieutenant Nicoletti and Ensign Jurot had all commented on how affable and pleasant he was. The Delaney sisters thought he was a hunk. Crewman White hadn't been able to take her eyes off of him in the Mess Hall. Ensign Brooks couldn't stop raving about him. Even Seven had proclaimed him "efficient," and that was the highest compliment anyone could receive from her.

Tom frowned. He didn't like competition, and he'd certainly never had to deal with anything like this before. The most competition he'd ever had was Ensign Freddie Bristow, whom B'Elanna had scoffed was "a child," and of course, Vorik. Nothing  
to worry about.

The only other man who'd had a hold of B'Elanna's affections was Chakotay... but Tom and B'Elanna had been over that one several times. There was no reason for him to be jealous of Chakotay.

This wasn't the same. He wasn't quite sure how to handle this. Commander Max Burke was clearly interested in B'Elanna... and while she might claim that she didn't return the sentiment, Tom was still worried. After all, she and Burke had a history. What if this old flame had never really died out? It might not take much to rekindle the fire.

It made him terribly uneasy, because there was clearly genuine affection between them.

He felt like he had to size up the competition.

But the more he thought about it, the worse his fears became.

Commander Maxwell Burke. First Officer of the Federation starship USS Equinox. The Equinox was a small, Nova class science ship, but still... it was impressive for a man as young as Burke to make First Officer. He was clearly dedicated to his work. Ambitious, resourceful, intelligent. Respected by his crew. Even under such grim circumstances, he was dignified, strong, brave. An inspiration to them all.

Tom shook his head. He couldn't help comparing himself to Burke and thinking that he fell short.

After all, he had been kicked out of Starfleet. Dishonorably discharged. And after that, he had continued to make a complete mess of his life, ending up as a mercenary for the Maquis to pay his bar bills. Then captured by the Federation, sentenced to prison in Auckland. He had been granted a field commission by Captain Janeway only because of the extenuating circumstances, anyway. And recently demoted to ensign.

That didn't sound too good. Especially when compared to someone like Max Burke. Tom couldn't help feeling that if Burke were to seriously pursue B'Elanna, it would be no contest. It was inevitable. After spending more and more time with Burke, B'Elanna would realize that Burke had more to offer.

He would lose. He would lose her affections to this old boyfriend of hers...

...and the thought of that was unbearable.

The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that she would see it the way he did.

Why would she want him when she could have someone like Max Burke? Someone successful, agreeable, charming, understanding, patient... and definitely good-looking. Someone who didn't have a receding hairline.

And now that the Equinox crew was going to be permanently on Voyager, Max would be around all the time. _Pursuing B'Elanna_, Tom thought anxiously. He could already see  
the signs.

The arrival of the Equinox would cause quite a few changes in their lives. Already, people were meeting, getting to know each other better. It opened up a whole new world of possibilities.

Seven and Noah Lessing, for example. They had taken to each other right away.

And was it his imagination or was there something between Chakotay and Ensign Marla Gilmore? They had been spending an awful lot of time together.

A few of the young female ensigns from the Equinox had even approached Tom, flirted with him a bit.

He grimaced, hoping that B'Elanna wouldn't hear about that. He had made it clear to the ensigns that he was taken.

But apparently these ladies knew all too well about Burke's past involvement with B'Elanna and his reputation with women...

They had implied none-too-subtly that Tom might be needing consolation soon and had even suggested that they'd be more than happy to provide it.

That was not a good sign.

His heart was on the verge of breaking.

But what could he do about it?

Nothing.

That was the problem. He wanted to something, anything, but what? He couldn't exactly challenge Burke to a duel or something for B'Elanna's affections. There wasn't a whole lot he could do.

But he didn't know what he would do if B'Elanna dumped him in favor of getting back together with Max.

He didn't know if he could face them every day. Having to work with them every day. Having to take orders from the smug, triumphant Commander Burke.

Tom couldn't sleep. He was too troubled by his insecurities. He wasn't accustomed to feeling this way, so lost, uncertain, and vulnerable. He wasn't jealous or possessive by nature, but B'Elanna meant the world to him, and this was too important to take lightly  
or pretend that it didn't matter. He was terrified of losing her.

He was usually quite skilled at hiding his feelings, but he was sensitive, and hiding was the only way to protect himself from getting hurt. As a result, he wasn't very good at expressing his feelings, either.

He had been hoping that B'Elanna would stop by... But so far she hadn't, and he had given up on that idea.

So he had gone by her quarters instead, feeling the need to see her. He needed to talk to her.

But when he had gotten closer, he had heard voices in the corridor. B'Elanna – he would recognize the low murmur of her voice anywhere. But obviously she wasn't alone.

It had to be Burke.

Tom froze, not knowing what to do. Finally he peeked around the corner.

Sure enough B'Elanna was standing in her doorway, in nothing but her blue silk robe, the one that matched her blue nightgown... and Burke was standing just outside her door, leaning against the door frame, and they were talking in low tones.

His heart had nearly broken when after a few minutes, he saw them go into her quarters.

The thought of them together made him physically ill.

This was only the beginning, he was sure. Any day now, B'Elanna would be telling him that she was dumping him for Burke. The thought filled him with cold dread.

How was he supposed to go on, having to see them together every day? It would be unbearable. He wouldn't be able to get away from it. Wouldn't be able to get away from them.

The night dragged on... painfully.

(To be continued in Chapter 3…)


	3. The Longest Day

Chapter 3 "The Longest Day"

She stole a glance in his direction. He looked terrible, she realized with concern.

B'Elanna was a little worried about how Tom was taking all of this. She was certainly fond of Max, but she had no intention of renewing their previous relationship.

Obviously, though, Tom was feeling a little threatened. He wasn't accustomed to being in such an awkward position and feeling so vulnerable.

She hadn't expected him to take it so hard.

At first she hadn't taken his jealousy seriously. Though she had been flattered, to be honest. Considering that Tom rarely expressed his feelings about her so openly, it made her feel good to know that he truly cared. And it was quite a change to see him uncertain, a little insecure. It was quite a change from his usual cocky, self-assured manner.

But now it wasn't so amusing anymore. His insecurity was starting to negatively affect their relationship.

They had talked briefly after the morning senior staff meeting. If you could call it talking. It was more of an argument than a conversation.

"Max and I are just friends," she had informed him, a little more defensively than she'd intended.

He snorted derisively. "Friends."

"What, are you saying you don't want me to be friends with him?" Her voice had grown dangerously cold, and he knew he was treading on thin ice.

"No, of course not. I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't be friends with. But I don't like him. And I don't trust him. So don't expect me to be best buddies with him."

"Don't you trust me?" she had asked.

"Of course I trust you; I just don't trust him!"

Exasperated, she had reminded him that it took two to tango. If she and Max were going to get back together, they would both have to be willing. And she wasn't, so there was nothing to worry about.

He hadn't seemed convinced. "Maybe not now, but..."

"But what?!"

"You never know..."

Her temper flared. "There's nothing going on between me and Max."

"Are you sure about that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He scowled, then seemed to make up his mind. "Where were you last night? I thought you were going to stop by..."

She stiffened. "I was in my quarters."

"With Burke," he said bitterly.

That put her on the defensive again. She didn't like his accusing tone. "How do you know that? Have you been spying on me?"

"What does it matter? It's true, isn't it? You were with him... in your quarters."

It was yet another pointless argument, completely out of control. The bitterness on both sides was apparent.

He was convinced that she was going to dump him... and she wasn't sure she could deal with that.

* * *

"Tom... Hey, Tom! Wait up!"

Harry finally caught up with him.

"What's gotten into you? You've been moping around all day."

Tom merely shrugged.

"You still obsessing about Burke and B'Elanna?"

Tom turned away. Even hearing their names mentioned together in the same sentence made him grimace. "I don't want to talk about it, Harry."

"You're actually upset about it?" Harry asked incredulously. "I was only kidding."

"You saw how they were at dinner last night."

"What are you talking about?"

"They were flirting with each other the whole time!?

"What? Where did you get that idea? They were just talking. Old friends catching up on old times."

"Yeah, right. And they were 'just talking' in her quarters last night at 0100 too," Tom said derisively.

"You really think B'Elanna would cheat on you behind your back?"

"I... I don't know."

"She wouldn't. You know that."

"Do I?"

Harry frowned. "I think you're imagining things, Tom. Did you ask B'Elanna about it?"

"Yeah."

"And what'd she say?"

"She got pretty defensive..."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I take it she doesn't think your being jealous is so 'cute' anymore."

"... and she claimed that she and Burke are 'just friends.'"

"But you don't believe her?"

"I believe her. But I'm not too crazy about them being friends either. Burke is a little too 'friendly' with her."

"So what if he is?"

"I don't want to lose her."

Harry was rapidly losing patience.

"You're not going to lose her. Not to Burke," Harry told him. "But if you keep acting like a paranoid, possessive idiot, she won't need Burke as a reason to dump you."

Tom winced.

"Have a little faith in her. B'Elanna's not that gullible. If Burke is putting the moves on her, she'll see right through him."

"What if she _wants_ him to put the moves on her?" Tom muttered.

Stunned, Harry could only stare at him. _Uh-oh... this is worse than I thought._

His best friend was obviously suffering from a bout of low self-esteem, and Harry wasn't sure what he could say to reassure him.

* * *

"BLT..."

She didn't even have to turn around to know he was standing right behind her, a little too close.

"Hi, Max."

He raised an eyebrow, sensing that something was amiss. "Trouble in paradise?"

B'Elanna sighed. "You could say that."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Max was being so understanding, it was actually comforting.

"Well..."

"I have an idea. Why don't we talk about it over dinner... My quarters?"

Maybe a little too comforting. She was immediately suspicious of his ulterior motives, because that invitation had sounded a tad too suggestive for her comfort.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Oh, come on. It'll be just like old times."

"Now I _know_ it's not such a good idea," she told him gently but firmly, turning back to her work.

He followed her. "You know, I've been thinking a lot lately... about us."

B'Elanna was getting a headache. Max wouldn't let up. He kept asking her to have dinner with him... alone.

She had been upset that Tom didn't trust her, feeling like he was accusing her of being unfaithful.

That was so unfair – she would never be unfaithful to Tom.

But now she was also feeling a little guilty because it seemed that he had been right about Max's intentions. Maybe he had every right to feel threatened.

And maybe... maybe at first she had been flattered by Max's attentions, as she had ten years ago, but...

It didn't really mean anything.

Except that she had hurt Tom, and that distressed her. She hated seeing him so upset.

* * *

Tom gritted his teeth, determined he would make it through this day without letting on how much he was hurting. Even if it killed him.

Burke was on board Voyager right now. In Main Engineering.

It took all of Tom's willpower not to make an excuse to go down there and keep an eye on him.

When his shift on the Bridge ended, he immediately headed for Deck 11 anyway. _I just want to see B'Elanna, that's all_, he told himself.

He had made it to the corridor just outside Engineering when he heard someone say his name.

"Ensign Paris."

Attempting to keep his expression as pleasant as possible, Tom slowly turned around. Burke had placed a little too much emphasis on the "Ensign" part.

"Commander Burke."

"How are things on the Bridge?" Burke asked in a conversational tone.

"Not bad. How are things in Engineering?"

"Busy. B'Elanna's swamped with work. Probably not a good idea to disturb her right now. But I'm sure that's nothing new to you..."

"Yeah, I'm used to it," Tom said carelessly. But inside he cringed. Burke was right; B'Elanna probably wasn't in any mood to see him and it wouldn't be a good idea to go looking for her in Engineering.

Burke smirked. Tom counted to twelve and just barely resisted the urge to punch his lights out.

"So where you headed now, _Commander_?"

"The holodeck. I thought I'd brush up on Klingon martial arts," was Burke's casual reply.

The challenge in his voice was evident.

"You're in luck. I happen to have a Klingon martial arts holoprogram."

"Really? Well, that _is_ fortunate. Want to go a few rounds? If you're up to it, that is."

Tom gave him a clenched smile. "I'm up to it."

* * *

Tom took a deep breath, trying his best to hold off the Cardassian who kept coming at him. He didn't usually work out at this high of a difficulty level, but Burke had suggested it, and Tom didn't want the commander to think he couldn't handle it.

Nearby, Burke was sparring with a nasty looking Nausican nearly twice his size, but he had barely broken a sweat.

"This is great practice," Burke commented.

"Practice for what?" Tom asked without thinking. He immediately kicked himself mentally for it a moment later. Burke was baiting him again.

"Oh, you know... There's nothing like a good workout like this to get a Klingon -- or half-Klingon – 'in the mood'..."

The Cardassian attacked again, but Tom was ready this time. He dodged the blow, knocked the brute off-balance and successfully finished him off.

It helped to imagine that it was Burke he was bashing.

Seconds later, the Nausican that Burke was fighting finally fell, doubled over in pain. With a cruel laugh, Burke kicked him in the head.

"Klingon women are always a challenge," Burke continued. "They like variety –never satisfied... And B'Elanna is no exception..."

That did it. In a flash, Tom was lunging for Burke's throat...

* * *

Their little bout on the Holodeck landed them both in Sickbay.

"What happened?" the Doctor asked, scanning them both.

"Holodeck program. Klingon martial arts," Burke said smoothly.

Tom didn't say anything. It was technically true.

He was ashamed to reveal the whole story, anyway. It had been a long time since he had really lost his temper to the point of violence.

Worse, it hadn't made him feel all that better to take out his aggressions on Burke.

The Doctor didn't bother to hide his disapproval. "Weren't the holodeck safeties engaged?"

Burke shrugged.

As he began treating their injuries, the Doctor sighed and shook his head.

It had been a long day.

(To be continued in Chapter 4…)


	4. The Shortest Night

Chapter 4 "The Shortest Night"

B'Elanna didn't know what to think. She suspected there was more to the story than Max and Tom had let on, but neither one of them would reveal anything.

It just seemed a little too coincidental. The Doctor might have accepted Max's explanation of how they had acquired their injuries, but not B'Elanna.

This ridiculous rivalry between Tom and Max had to stop. The problem was, she didn't know how to make that happen.

So she went to Chakotay for some advice...

"Chakotay. I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?"

"Sure. What's on your mind, B'Elanna?"

"Tom. And Max."

Chakotay nodded in understanding.

"You know that Max and I used to go out..." she began.

"When you were at the Academy." He had heard it all by now. News still traveled fast on Voyager.

"That was ten years ago. It doesn't really matter anymore. At least, it shouldn't matter."

"But Tom feels otherwise."

"He acts like I'm going to run off with Max first chance I get. He's being completely unreasonable!"

"Did you two talk about this?"

"Yes... We kind of had an argument about it."

"I see."

She sighed. "I don't know what's gotten into him. It's as though there's some ongoing competition between him and Max."

"That's understandable. Max is your ex-boyfriend, after all. I mean, how would you feel if you ever ran into one of Tom's ex-girlfriends?"

B'Elanna frowned. She had never really considered that possibility before. On Voyager, it wasn't something she really needed to think about. Tom hadn't really dated anyone, excepting a few dates with Megan Delaney, and that had been more platonic than  
romantic.

But if Voyager made it back to the Alpha Quadrant, it was more than likely that she would have to deal with the issue.

The thought didn't exactly appeal to her.

Chakotay continued. "Wouldn't you feel a little jealous, and maybe even... insecure?"

"I guess so," she admitted grudgingly.

"Talk to him again," Chakotay suggested. "Maybe all he needs is a little more reassurance."

* * *

Tom sat alone in his quarters, feeling miserable and wondering what the heck was happening to him. It wasn't like him to resort to physical aggression, even when provoked.

The worst part was that it hadn't really made him feel much better.

This wasn't just about Burke. His arrival and continued presence might have triggered Tom's temper, but there was more to it than that.

Encountering the Equinox had reminded everyone that they were getting closer and closer to home. The Alpha Quadrant, the Federation, Starfleet, Earth... It seemed all the more real now that Voyager had actually come in contact with another Federation  
starship.

For the past five years, Voyager had adapted to life in the Delta Quadrant and functioned as a self-sufficient unit independent of Starfleet Command. But all that would change when they got back to Earth.

What would they find in store for them when they returned to the Alpha Quadrant, and would they be prepared to deal with it? From the letters from home they had received last year, it sounded as though a lot had changed in the Alpha Quadrant these past few years... and who knew how much more it would change in the time it took them to get back.

Tom was afraid that everything he had left behind in the Alpha Quadrant might come back to haunt him when Voyager finally made it home.

He wasn't sure that things would be the same between him and B'Elanna.

In the unusual circumstances on Voyager, they had both been given a second chance, and their relationship had flourished.

But would their love be strong enough to survive the homecoming?

Seeing as how Burke had managed to single-handedly disrupt their relationship already, Tom worried that it wouldn't.

* * *

"Tom. We need to talk."

"I know." He didn't seem too enthusiastic about the prospect.

B'Elanna really didn't know what to say. Tom hardly ever really lost control. He would get worked up over things that mattered to him, but he rarely exploded the way she did. Not because he didn't feel anything – he did, very deeply – but because he had trained himself to mask his emotions so well. He frequently used humor as a shield, pretending that nothing bothered him. It wasn't easy to get him to talk about how he felt.

"I'm trying to understand, but..."

Tom shrugged.

"You and Max were fighting with each other on the Holodeck, weren't you."

"Something like that," he said quietly. "I don't know what came over me."

They both fell silent.

It was awkward. Usually he was the one soothing her, helping her find an outlet for her anger, whether it be channeling the negative energy into something more productive, or talking it over until it didn't seem that bad anymore. He was very good at that. It was one of the reasons they were still together after all this time. Most people didn't know how to deal with her volatility and usually opted for staying out of the way, but Tom could handle it. And she was a better person for it. Calmer, more reasonable, not so angry  
and hostile all the time.

Now that their roles were reversed, B'Elanna was at a loss. She suspected that he was too. He wasn't accustomed to losing control emotionally.

She wished that she had his talent for defusing situations like this.

What could she possibly say? She couldn't exactly lecture him about acting irrational; she wasn't always reasonable either. She couldn't blame him for losing his temper; she was guilty of losing hers practically every day. She certainly wasn't about to tell him that hitting someone was not the best way to deal with conflict; he already knew that and even had to remind her every time she resorted to violence to express her feelings.

She understood all too well.

"What... what happened?" she finally asked, dreading the answer.

Tom shrugged again. "He said... something stupid."

B'Elanna frowned. "About you?" No, that didn't seem quite right. "About me," she realized.

From the flash of anger in his eyes, she knew she was right.

"What exactly did he say?"

His tone was brusque. "It's not important."

"I just want to know –"

"I said, it's not important," he repeated, looking heated.

She raised her hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Okay, okay."

B'Elanna felt terrible. She couldn't seem to find the right words to make him feel any better. Was this what he went through every time she blew up over something?

It couldn't be very pleasant for him, having to deal with someone who was angry about something more often than not. Trying to reason with her when she wasn't in any mood to be reasonable. She was suddenly ashamed of all that she put him through all these years. She didn't know how he managed. He had the patience of a saint.

There weren't too many people who had the courage or generosity to put up with her temper. She knew that all too well. She was lucky to have him.

He was good for her. She had a tendency to take life too seriously, and he helped her lighten up and put things in perspective. Tom never gave up on her, even when she was at her worst. He was too stubborn, and he loved her too much.

She didn't give him enough credit for it.

Tom suddenly felt guilty, seeing the distress in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, B'Elanna..." He recognized what she was going through – he went through it every time she exploded over something. Feeling helpless, wanting to do something to take away the anger and the pain but not really being able to. Treading lightly, so as not  
to provoke, not wanting to be the next target. Trying not to react, not to take it personally. Though it was next to impossible sometimes. When someone was yelling at you, it was an instinctive reaction to yell back in defense.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just lost my temper back there on the holodeck, and next thing I knew..."

She slowly shook her head and finally said. "It's okay. Knowing Max, he probably deserved it." A little part of her was thrilled that Tom had wanted to defend her honor. Though she never would have admitted it to him, she was touched.

Tom smiled a little at that.

"I know I've been acting a little crazy lately..." he began.

"It's all right. I... I think I understand why."

"You do?"

"Well... It's always strange when an ex-boyfriend unexpectedly shows up. I'm not exactly looking forward to meeting any of your old girlfriends either."

He nodded. "I don't like feeling jealous, but..."

"Tom, you have nothing to be jealous about," she assured him.

But he still looked doubtful.

"I guess I was afraid... that I might lose you," he confessed.

"You're not going to lose me," she told him softly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. I love you."

She didn't tell him enough how much she loved and appreciated him. A lot of the time she was so caught up in her own problems and insecurities that she forgot he had a lot to deal with too. He wasn't as sure of himself as he wanted everyone to think. Only she was allowed to glimpse his vulnerability because he loved and trusted her. Tom had opened his heart to her, and she never doubted that he loved her. That he was devoted to her, committed to her.

He was always supportive of her, even though he didn't necessarily always agree with her decisions. And she wanted to be there for him.

"I'm not perfect... and I certainly don't expect you to be either. Perfection is for the Borg."

That made him smile.

"I know there are things in your past that you're not proud of... and the same goes for me. But we're not the same people we were five years ago. We've both changed, for the better."

"I know," he said softly.

"Whatever comes our way, we'll face it together."

He hugged her close, relieved and much reassured.

"I'm sorry about dinner last night, for behaving so strangely and calling you 'sweetheart,'" he finally said.

B'Elanna stared into his eyes, mesmerized by their clarity.

"Tom... you can call me anything you want," she said huskily, just before their lips met.

"Really? You mean it?? he asked after they broke for air.

"Well... you can call me anything you want when it's just the two of us," she amended before kissing him again.

"Okay... sweetheart."

She growled at him in mock exasperation as he laughed.

"I guess anything's better than 'BLT.'"

"Don't be too sure about that. Harry keeps calling me 'Turkey Platter,'" Tom grumbled.

She laughed. "That's pretty clever... and kinda cute. It suits you."

"Thanks a lot."

B'Elanna giggled again. "Would you rather he call you 'pastrami on rye' or 'peanut butter and jelly' instead?"

"Now why would he call me that? That doesn't fit my initials."

"Never mind..."

They grew serious again after a moment.

"I love you," Tom whispered. "I know I don't say it often enough, but I do..."

"I know. And I love you... Only you."

She pressed her lips to his again, determined to convince him that he was the only one for her, even it took all night.

"It just might..." he murmured with a hint of a smile. With a start, she realized that she had spoken that last thought out loud.

B'Elanna smiled. "Then we'd better get started..."

The End


End file.
